Please Keep Your Moral Equivalence Away From Me
And your "Buts" and Your "What Abouts," Too
I had planned, this weekend, to write about my year in the amazing city of Istanbul. I taught in a high school there back in the 1990s and have stayed in touch with many of my lovely students. I will write about it next week, I hope. But today, it didn’t feel as though there were anything else I could write about other than Israel. I hadn’t wanted to write about it - there are far more qualified people who can do so, and who are doing so. But something happened this morning. After a very bad night’s sleep - due, in large part, to the images of the attacks embedded in my brain - I woke up this morning at about six and could not wind back down. I decided to go to an early service at my church.
Now, I have, of late, been on something of a spiritual quest. I won’t get into it in detail as I feel these matters are best left private. Some people are very vocal in their faith and practice, and while that is fine for them, it isn’t my style. (I’ve been more vocal than was good for me about various matters in the past and have learned from that, I think. I hope. One lives in hope.) I have been attending a church which I won’t name specifically, other than to say it isn’t the United Church. If I’m going to go on a quest, I at least want to have the reasonable expectation that my pastor will believe in God and that my church won’t be blatantly, stupidly “anti-Zionist” (cough).
The church I attend is reliably do-gooder-ish. Nothing wrong with that. People care about all the chattering-class things. I have listened to sermons about climate change and LGBT issues. I agree with most of it - in fact, I would not be comfortable in an environment where the gay community were not welcome. And I do believe we should improve our environmental policies and anyone who knows me knows what an animal nut I am. I think climate change is an important issue, though I don’t believe it is an emergency. (When I was a teenager the big fear was a new ice age, and when my father was a kid it was too much dust. Perspective matters.) My point is, I know what to expect when I get comfy in a pew. At least I thought I did.
So off I went, in need of solace, eager for the comfort of the church’s beauty. The pastor - I’ll call him “Pastor Doe” - led the service and got to the homily, in which he mentioned, a few times, a verse in Isaiah that describes Israel being punished/judged. He managed, mercifully, to pivot and tie that all in with a gratitude message for Thanksgiving (this weekend in Canada) and I gave him the benefit of the doubt, as the Old Testament is full of stuff about God smiting individuals and nations, including Israel. Whatever. (The New Testament contains some highly unpalatable digs at “the Jews.”) We then got into the prayers for the people section. Pastor Doe listed off the sick, the dying, the dead…and then he led us in prayer for the peace of Jerusalem. (Fine.) And peace in the Middle East. (Fine.) And justice in the Middle East. (Sure, I’d love to see some justice delivered to Hamas.) I waited and there was nothing more. No “prayers for the people of Israel.” No “prayers for the people of Israel and for Palestinian civilians.” (Of the latter, I daresay the remaining reasonable ones must be devastated.) Keep in mind that we routinely, at this church, pray for the people of Ukraine (as well we should), for Canada’s Indigenous peoples (as well we should) and various other groups (as well we should) who populate humanity’s tragic headlines.
[The Brandenburg Gate, October 7, 2023. Image taken from Chancellor Olaf Scholz on X.]
On my way out, I thanked Pastor Doe and he noted that I was usually not there so early. No, I said, but I could not sleep as I have been so upset by what is going on in Israel. His face changed a bit. “We all are,” he said. Stupidly, I thought I detected some sympathy - wrong! - so I felt bold enough to say, “Don’t you think it might have been nice to specifically pray for the people of Israel?” Talk about a change in facial expression. Sheesh. Curtly, he said, “No, I don’t. I won’t get into a political debate.” And when I say curtly, I mean he looked hot under his pastorly collar. How is it political to pray for people being massacred, I wondered. So I asked. Here is roughly the rest of our exchange and I will point out that while polite tones were maintained by both interlocutors, it was clear Pastor Doe was increasingly unhappy and annoyed with my impertinence:
Me: How is it political or a debate? It’s prayer for people who have been attacked. They’re dragging the elderly, teenagers, children from their homes and parading them in the public square and…
Pastor Doe: Yes, it’s a terrible situation that has been going on for years…blah blah blah…context…
(Yeah, he went there.)
Me: Well, but we’re not talking about reasonable Palestinians who want to talk about two states. We’re talking about Hamas, theocrats who drag Jews from their homes to rape and torture and kill them. It’s horrific.
Pastor Doe: And so is blowing up Palestinian homes…blah blah blah…both sides…
Me: (Making a conscious decision to not pick apart that last statement and point out that it is a non-sequitur and an example of what-aboutism and try to focus on the matter at hand.) That does not justify any of this and…
Pastor Doe: I’m not saying it does. And I’ve been to the region.
(How irrelevant is that, btw? So you mean one cannot have an informed opinion about, say, China and the regime in Beijing without having been there? Though I have been to Israel and to the West Bank, Gaza, and other parts of the Middle East.)
Me: So have I.
Pastor Doe: I’m not saying the attacks are justified. Violence is never justified.
Me: Yes, but there is no moral equivalence between what Israel does and what we are seeing right now. Th…
Pastor Doe: I’m not justifying it or trying to make a moral equivalence!
(Sure sounded like he was. Why else immediately leap to “both sides-ism”?)
Me: Ok, well, er... Have a good day.
Pastor Doe: (May have said goodbye. Or not. I’m going with not.)
Argh. That is pretty much how it went - very short. Proud that I stayed calm and knew when to stop the “conversation,” though perhaps I should not have engaged. Not a fruitful talk but revelatory. I do feel sad about it. I naively imagined that no one at what should be a sanctuary could suggest any shades of grey in the Hamas attacks on Israel. What a disappointment. Ironically, I had thought that the pastor, when I asked about praying for Israelis, might have said something like, “Well, I understand what you are saying, but it’s a touchy topic so I prefer to pray for peace in the region.” That I would have understood, even if I might have considered it weak and cowardly. There are flocks to which pastors must tend. They can’t alienate too many in the seats, given how churches are bleeding members these days, though the calibrating alienates worshippers, too. (I feel alienated!) I would be more likely to go back to this church if I thought there were a strong moral compass guiding it. As it stands, I am disgusted. (Blaming the victim - seriously?) My spouse told me a story about how, on 9-11, he went to his church and there was a sign in front of the candles saying, “In memory of all victims of violence.” It ticked him off to no end. He has not returned since.
(To be fair, I know that the pastor today was taken by surprise: I’m guessing very few attendees ask him anything other than whether there are coffee and cookies in the church basement.)
So, what are my options? Never attending again, or attending again but only when there are other celebrants/pastors (happens fairly frequently), attending and wearing my IDF t-shirt, attending and not donating a dang penny, attending only for concerts and wine and cheese nights, finding another place of worship? We’ll see. For now, though, a reminder that if your reaction to these attacks is “but” or “what about” or any such equivocations, you need to give yourself a shake. I read that not since the Holocaust has this large a number of Jews been killed in a single day. Anyone with an ounce of morality ought to be able to see this for what it is. (See my “shedding of friends” piece.) Contrary to received wisdom, this situation is not “complicated.” This is a simple issue with a clear bad guy and a clear - sometimes flawed - good guy. And it’s not about a “right-wing” Israeli government. If you think Hamas would love a left-leaning Israeli government or if you think a left-leaning Israeli government would react any differently to these events, give it another think.
Yes, this is a dreadful intelligence failure, as was September 11th, and heads will roll. But that is the last thing I am thinking about right now.
***
Locally, there were pro-Hamas demonstrations and banners thrown over bridges today. Despicable. In Berlin, the Brandenburg Gate was lit up blue and white for Israel. In Paris, the Eiffel Tower. In Rome, Palazzo Chigi. In London, 10 Downing Street. In New York, the Empire State Building. I’m waiting for our mayor to do the same with the CN Tower and our PM with the Peace Tower. It will tell me a lot if they don’t.
On a brighter note, Happy Thanksgiving to my Canuck peeps.