I've Come A Long Way With Charles
The Monarchy is More than the Last Forty Years: Long Live the King
July 29, 1981. I am a nerdy teenager. I get up at 6 to watch the wedding of the Prince of Wales and Lady Diana Spencer. A couple of girlfriends have slept over (Heather, Jill - the former no longer with us, heartbreakingly) and we make cookies and Earl Grey tea to celebrate and watch. We are very invested. The bride is not much older than we are. To us, it is perfection: Diana’s dress, her not-so-steady-on-his-feet father, her flubbing of Charles’ name during the vows (we find it cute), the Princes in uniform, Her Majesty looking like the woman whose portrait was in our schools, a figure of comfort, someone upon whose presence we - unknowingly - count. My mother is nice about it, though likely irritated with the mess and noise we are making, giggles and oohs and ahs. I knew I had to enjoy that moment because later in the day older siblings would awake and dump all over the coverage with snide comments and general derision. (And they did.)
We know what happened. The marriage, well, like so many it did not go as planned or hoped. And I will admit that for a long time, I really disliked Charles and Camilla. I cried when Diana died (seriously sobbed) and hoped the monarchy would skip over unfeeling Charles and give us lovely William straight away. But as one ages, one sees things differently. I have come to really like and respect King Charles and, yes, Queen Camilla. Leonard Cohen said something about the paths to love being “many and dark,” and humans being “ardent and cruel” in that journey. And so we are. We would do well to note that no one knows what goes on between people.
[Stylin’ in high school. Me, at about the time of Prince Charles’ and Lady Diana’s wedding. In my arms, one of the greatest cats to ever grace this planet. Apologies for the poor quality. Photo: Adamson Collection but probably my middle sister took it]
It is easy to tease Charles for his awkwardness, his fussing over fountain pens (something I found rather endearing). My mother used to call him a bit of a pill (a piece I wrote about that word here) but she said it with affection. It is easy to dismiss him as a slightly squishy, gullible do-gooder, with his eco-friendly ideas and his romantic ideals regarding architecture. But I think he isn’t wrong about much of that. I appreciate the banning of foie gras, for example, from the royal kitchens and I appreciate his slimmed-down monarchy and a coronation guest list with fewer celebrities and aristocrats and more people who have worked in charities. And anyway, why the scoffing? What is wrong with caring about the environment, caring about beauty? (As I wrote here, art is part of what makes life worth living.) If he were a left-wing politician saying the same things, many of the current cynics would cheer. As King, of course, he will have to tone the activism down; he is showing himself able to do so. But honestly, what sane person would object to King Charles and Sir David Attenborough up on a stage together, inviting us to save the planet?
I have great respect, as well, for the Prince’s Trust. When Her Majesty died, I saw an interview with beneficiaries of the charity, one woman saying that it - literally - saved her life, showing her options and a way to escape what she had previously believed were her inescapable limitations. The Prince’s Trust was Charles’ own initiative, started when he could have spent all of his time being nothing more than a nightclub-hopping eligible bachelor. When Her Majesty died, I noticed that the crowds - contrary to what woke half-wits with their ahistorical interpretations will tell you - were multi-ethnic. I am seeing that this week, as well, with people from every background and generation lining up to watch the events on May 6th.
From everything I have read, Charles is a man of considerable thoughtfulness, kind and decent. He has shown this with his invitation to Prince Harry. Frankly, in His Majesty’s place, I would have told my younger son to stay in California with his self-important, moron wife rather than potentially ruin my big day. (Here is a lovely personal reminiscence of the King, from one of his goddaughters who was also a bridesmaid at his wedding to Diana.)
No one can follow Queen Elizabeth II (I wrote about her here). And King Charles will be criticized no matter what he says or does. But, like her, he can be a unifier. The challenge will be tweaking the monarchy while not tossing out a thousand years of history. And this is key: remembering that the British monarchy is not merely the last forty years. It is natural that we fixate on our own lifetimes, the gossip and the headlines, but Canadians should not take for granted the gifts of this steadfast institution, the true blessings of these traditions. I’ve come a long way with Charles - as in any decades-long relationship, my feelings have altered. Happily, they have altered for the better. And I urge everyone who wants to roll their eyes at this weekend’s events to drop their cynicism.